Really…’friends at it again’

So, as I had mentioned before, my ‘friends’ are definitely taking a turn for the worst. I had decided over the past few days that I was going to just be cautious, that maybe I was being sensitive because I just had surgery. Well, guess it wasn’t just me being sensitive. Turns out, my friend’s daughter was having a birthday, she happens to be my son’s friend. He wanted to get her a gift, and obviously I had no objections, as she was the daughter of my friend, as well my son’s friend. I sent a text to my friend to ask what the name of the game is that she wanted for her DS, and her response, which was 1.5 days later was: ‘save your money, we’re not that close anymore’. I was actually blown away, about 5 minutes later, she sent a follow up message stating that she didn’t want her daughter to be ‘confused’ by getting a gift from us. Well, call me stupid- but I don’t have any idea what is confusing about getting a gift for your birthday, especially from a friend, and a parent that she sees on a daily basis, since I volunteer at the school, every single day.

Well that morning, my son asks where the gift is we got for his friend, so I then had to explain to him (he’s 8) that we couldn’t get a gift for his friend because the mom asked us not to. To which his response was ‘why isn’t our gift good enough?’ WOW- knife right to the heart from my baby. At that point I was very transparent with him, he is actually very wise beyond his age, as he is an only child. Of course, had he not had a feeling of insignificance, I would never had told him any of the details of the story. He was definitely put into a situation that I really feel bad that he had to encounter. Obviously, he and I had the discussion that this was between us, and not to share it with his friend, because I would never want her to be collateral damage, like my ‘friend’ had made my son. Honestly, I had thought maybe I was just being too hard, but so clear.

I have come to the conclusion, I was a friend when she wanted to do the fun things with me- that I paid for. I paid for them to stay at the Disneyland hotel for my son’s birthday. Anything that was on my dime, of course I was a great friend. When I started getting tight with my money, things changed. Things changed because I started feeling a certain kind of way about her behaviors. I wasn’t going to continuing financing activities for her when she isn’t being a true friend.

Finally, I decided that what I expect out of a friend is clearly very different than what she expects out of a friend. I would give my left leg for a friend, she would take my left leg, with nothing in return. Beware of the people you surround yourself with, some will take advantage of you because you are nice.

What will make it difficult now, we are both on the executive board for the PTA at the school. Awkward is all I really have to say about this. I guess we will see how the board meeting goes this month. UGH, not looking forward to it.